owlmoose: (da - flemeth)KJ ([personal profile] owlmoose) wrote,
@ 2012-09-13 10:57 am UTC
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Entry tags:dabb, dragon age, writing
Crossposts:http://owlmoose.livejournal.com/596114.html
Mostly thoughts about stitching together the events of the two dwarf origins. I have two different ways it can go and am not sure which works better.

So the big question, really, is whether the origins are happening simultaneously, or one after the other. At least some of the Brosca origin has to be first, because Aeducan meets Rica in Bhelen's quarters, and Rica's conversation with Beraht in the opening Brosca scene suggests that she doesn't have a patron yet. Here's what I came up with for the origins running somewhat in parallel:

 

Day

Sera

Duncan

Natia

One

--

Meets Natia at Proving, impressed with her performance, tries to convince guards to release her into his custody but fails

Confrontation with Beraht, deals with Oskias. Proving, taken captive by city guard, beaten unconscious, Beraht uses his influence to have her transferred to Carta cells.

Two

Birthday feast, meets Duncan, Bhelen warns her about Trian

Attends Sera's birthday feast

Unconscious in her cell

Three

Deep Roads expedition, Trian's death, taken captive, spends night in cell

Leads team to the Deep Roads, they clear out a tunnel and make camp, he heads back to Orzammar and encounters Natia, recruits her and takes her back to camp

Escapes Carta prison, kills Beraht, recruited by the Wardens, leaves Orzammar

Four

Sentenced to death, put in Deep Roads, fights her way through side tunnels, finds Duncan, is recruited

Continues in Deep Roads, meets Sera, recruits her

With Duncan

 

This works, I think, except that I don't really have a good reason for Duncan to come back to Orzammar. I can't imagine that he wouldn't be well supplied before leaving, and he doesn't make any plans to report back to the King or anything. So I'm stuck a little bit there.  It also means that Rica's relationship with Bhelen developed really quickly, like over a single day, and I'm not sure how realistic that is.

The other option I can see is for the entirety of the Brosca origin to happen first, so that Natia is already recruited by the time Duncan meets Sera. This has several advantages and one giant hole: where is Natia when Duncan and his Wardens rendezvous with the Aeducans and their troops in the Deep Roads? Although I can think of reasons why she would ask to remain out of sight while Duncan is dealing with the dwarven nobility, and it would be easy enough for her to avoid the palace, I can't figure out where to place her on the second day. 

Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome! Especially if there's a better option I'm missing entirely.


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aorin: (Gabranth: Candyman (?))


[personal profile] aorin
2012-09-13 07:07 pm UTC (link)
I'm not sure how much help this would be since I haven't played the Dwarf Noble Origins so I can't speak for it. But I was playing the Dwarf Commoner Origins earlier and some parts of the story are still fresh in my head.

About Rica and Bhelen's relationship. In Rica's conversation with Natia and Beraht, she admits she doesn't have a patron yet but she also mentions that there is a noble (Bhelen) who has shown an interest in her. So, it could be that Rica has been seeing Bhelen for a while now without any permanent commitment and Bhelen only offers his patronage during the period Natia was incarcerated? At least, that will give you a little bit more time on the development of their relationship.

Nonetheless, it still feels like the Brosca Origins occurred first, which then begs the question where is Natia when Duncan heads down to the Deep Roads. Uhm, on the surface? She just fought her way out of a Proving, the jail and a Carta, surely it wouldn't be such a stretch to say that she was recuperating somewhere and was expected to eventually meet up with Duncan after his expedition in the Deep Roads (and recruiting Sera)? I don't think Natia would be welcomed anywhere within Orzammar Commons and Diamond Quarters so the surface seems like your best bet (unless you want her to join the Deep Roads expedition as well).

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owlmoose: (da - aeducan)


[personal profile] owlmoose
2012-09-13 09:48 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, you've discovered the issue: I'm pretty attached to the idea that Natia is in the party when Sera meets up with them in the Deep Roads. And I kind of want them to see the surface at the same time, because it sets up some differences in their personalities. One thing that might work, maybe, is having Natia hanging out at a camp in the Deep Roads with some of the Wardens while Duncan deals with the Aeducans? I'd have to explain why he's willing to wait a few days to leave for the surface, though, when he's always in such a hurry to get to Ostagar.

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aorin: (Gabranth: Candyman (?))


[personal profile] aorin
2012-09-13 09:58 pm UTC (link)
That works too. Duncan would probably prefer Natia to be in the company of the Wardens instead of leaving her alone on the surface. Also, perhaps Duncan is staying a little longer to assess the condition of the Deep Roads? The emptier the Deep Roads, the larger the horde is on the surface at Ostagar. Once he realises how empty the Deep Roads are, he rushes off to Ostagar immediately with his two new recruits?

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owlmoose: (da - aeducan)


[personal profile] owlmoose
2012-09-13 10:54 pm UTC (link)
Ooh, that makes sense. That might even be the reason he gives the Aeducan Warden for being in Orzammar for the first place, now that I think about it, and that doesn't change even though he found a dwarf to recruit via the Provings (sort of). But since she's casteless, he can't exactly have her hanging about the palace -- not that he cares, but she could be uncomfortable enough with it that he leaves her with some of the other Wardens in the Deep Roads. Good thinking! :)

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