I think when people say that they aren't feminists they aren't really trying to discredit equality, they just don't like the stigma that's been attached to the name. ie. frigid, man-hating women.

I agree, that does seem to be the case. But I don't think the answer is to disavow a perfectly good term, but rather to reclaim it. I prefer to make a point of describing myself as a feminist, no disclaimers or caveats, and then show people by word and deed what that really means. If I can even put a drop in that bucket, I think it's worth it.