I remembered you mentioning this fic to me and I've been meaning to take a look at it and oh hey, what better opportunity than a certain date that has no hidden significance whatsoever *ahem*
If I had to sum up what makes this story strong: it is in perfect balance.
The pacing and amount of description are just right: you give a vivid picture of both before and after, dwelling just the right amount for the reminiscent mood without bogging down the pacing. You give space for memory and contemplation; this doesn't feel either rushed or plodding. Beautiful =)
Likewise, you balance Ashe so well. Her past and future selves contrast nicely: I love how the Ashe of the past is less sure, while the Ashe of the present is, if stricken, also harder, her experience showing. I like how you delicately highlight her wariness of Balthier and Fran, her distance from Vaan and Penelo, against the vulnerability she shows with Basch. (And yet the bits with Fran and Balthier are a light touch, too, as you show how she's grown to trust them more, if not as much as Basch.) I like Bash and Ashe's different interpretations of Reddas, Basch's like a warning and the way you let Ashe be melancholy without it feeling out of place on her. You manage to show a... softer side of Ashe without making *her* soft.
My one criticism is small and technical — sometimes your sentences are slightly awkwardly structured with a few too many prepositions. For example: I listened to every word of the stories of the devastation the nethicite wrought here... However, this piece is generally so strong; I enjoyed it very much and this is largely just a note on things to keep an eye out for in the future, rather than anything that seriously interfered with my enjoyment of this fic as it is now.
All in all, this was lovely and effective and, as I said, strikes just the right balance. The subdued mood post-Ridorana is perfect, and it was such a good way to wrap up a hectic week for me. This was like a treat or present for myself, even though it's not my birthday but your— crap I said the forbidden word! THIS REVIEW WILL NOW IMPLODE
Happy birthday, and thank you for being awesome =)
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If I had to sum up what makes this story strong: it is in perfect balance.
The pacing and amount of description are just right: you give a vivid picture of both before and after, dwelling just the right amount for the reminiscent mood without bogging down the pacing. You give space for memory and contemplation; this doesn't feel either rushed or plodding. Beautiful =)
Likewise, you balance Ashe so well. Her past and future selves contrast nicely: I love how the Ashe of the past is less sure, while the Ashe of the present is, if stricken, also harder, her experience showing. I like how you delicately highlight her wariness of Balthier and Fran, her distance from Vaan and Penelo, against the vulnerability she shows with Basch. (And yet the bits with Fran and Balthier are a light touch, too, as you show how she's grown to trust them more, if not as much as Basch.) I like Bash and Ashe's different interpretations of Reddas, Basch's like a warning and the way you let Ashe be melancholy without it feeling out of place on her. You manage to show a... softer side of Ashe without making *her* soft.
My one criticism is small and technical — sometimes your sentences are slightly awkwardly structured with a few too many prepositions. For example: I listened to every word of the stories of the devastation the nethicite wrought here... However, this piece is generally so strong; I enjoyed it very much and this is largely just a note on things to keep an eye out for in the future, rather than anything that seriously interfered with my enjoyment of this fic as it is now.
All in all, this was lovely and effective and, as I said, strikes just the right balance. The subdued mood post-Ridorana is perfect, and it was such a good way to wrap up a hectic week for me. This was like a treat or present for myself, even though it's not my birthday but your— crap I said the forbidden word! THIS REVIEW WILL NOW IMPLODE
Happy birthday, and thank you for being awesome =)