Remember in Part Eleven, he says: "If she will have me." Even in his journal, he cannot admit he was wrong. I see him as clinging to his pride and image of himself as a Warrior with an air of desparation. He is so close to the edge any more losses will tip him over and that is why he does not dare put his full trust in Paine. He is like one threading his way through a morass, trying to avoid the pits of quick-sand which lie on all sides. Make sense to you?