Drabble request two

[owlmoose]

Title: Aftermath
Fandom: FFX-2
Rating: PG
Set: Pre-game
Spoilers: Crimson Sphere 8
Pairings: Nothing overt
Prompt: Some or all of the Crimson Squad in flashback. For xerne.
Notes: True drabble (exactly 100 words). Territory I've covered before, but from a very different direction this time.

The world snapped back into focus and Nooj's hand tightened around the gun, smooth metal anchoring him to reality. Then his fingers went slack as he saw the bodies lying on the ground. Light from the setting sun gently touched her face; blood bloomed from her wounded stomach.

Lurching forward, kneeling by her side, he scrambled for her pulse and found it, weakly beating in her neck. She lived; he could breathe again.

"What... did I do? Why...?"

Wondering had to wait. He stood and shouted for help as, without really knowing why, he flung the weapon into the sea.

Comments

[mneme-forgets.livejournal.com]

I like the final action and the significance that you place on it in this drabble by placing it at the end. Nooj's final gesture is a symbolic attempt to cover up what happened, which is exactly what Shuyin would want.

I like that you chose to describe this scene from Nooj's perspective. It must have been horrific for him certainly. I like that his first action is to call for help, when he has some of his senses back again.

I

[kunstarniki.livejournal.com]

Lovely and exceedingly perceptive. You have him precisely. *brava*

[xerne.livejournal.com]

Lordy, how did I miss this?

This is gorgeous. Thank you so, so much.