Don't worry about the reviews count, people are lazy a) to review b) to read long stories..
Back to chapter 21.
This is the first time I've read that Kinoc married the woman who was proposed to Auron. It's so obvious that I wonder why no one wrote it before..
To my opinion, you've got two keypoints in this chapter:
1. how are you going to go on regarding the organization of the story? as you said in the prologue, there are two parallel stories. Now you've got three, I think. a) Auron backstory b) Braska pilgrimage c) Lissira's story If you're planning to go through Braska pilgrimage, maybe that it should be another story entirely, as it has nothing to do with Lissira or her mother.
2. assuming you're going to go through Braska pilgrimage; you pointed out an excellent point: Jecht doesn't know about the final summoning. There a Jecht sphere in the Japanese version that doesn't exist in the international version. In that sphere, Jecht said something like (adressing Braska) "You never tell me anything, anyway". I think Jecht ignorance is a key point.
Here is the link that ffn.net screw up (you must be a member):
http://forums.ffonline.com/
In the FFX section, there's a thread called: "Spira true history". Precious information there.
Chap 21 feedback
Back to chapter 21.
This is the first time I've read that Kinoc married the woman who was proposed to Auron. It's so obvious that I wonder why no one wrote it before..
To my opinion, you've got two keypoints in this chapter:
1. how are you going to go on regarding the organization of the story? as you said in the prologue, there are two parallel stories. Now you've got three, I think. a) Auron backstory b) Braska pilgrimage c) Lissira's story
If you're planning to go through Braska pilgrimage, maybe that it should be another story entirely, as it has nothing to do with Lissira or her mother.
2. assuming you're going to go through Braska pilgrimage; you pointed out an excellent point: Jecht doesn't know about the final summoning. There a Jecht sphere in the Japanese version that doesn't exist in the international version. In that sphere, Jecht said something like (adressing Braska) "You never tell me anything, anyway". I think Jecht ignorance is a key point.
Here is the link that ffn.net screw up (you must be a member):
http://forums.ffonline.com/
In the FFX section, there's a thread called: "Spira true history". Precious information there.
Keep going on, great stories are seldom!
cu
nidrig