ext_71335 ([identity profile] kunstarniki.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] owlmoose 2006-01-20 03:06 am (UTC)

I

she's not over him

That was quite clear. One of the really excellent impressions you somehow managed was to show that her relations with all other persons were heavily coloured by her memories of Nooj. Even through Berrik's eyes, the prism through which Paine saw the world was evident. He knew it, obviously, but did not want to voice it for fear of making it more real. There is great subtleness in your writing here - a delicacy of touch which shows a maturing talent. I do not think you missed anything and, like me, are inclined to read too critically toward the end of a piece.

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