owlmoose | why?

Last night, AGL got a nice review from a new reader. I was relishing it a little bit when T glanced at my email over my shoulder. We got to talking a little bit about my writing, and he raised an interesting question that I'm still thinking about: why fanfic? And why from this particular source?

Why fanfic? It's true that it has some disadvantages. Most obviously, there is no hope of ever getting it published through traditional channels because of the copyright issue (occasional Star Trek fan collections notwithstanding). That doesn't bother me in the slightest, though, because that's not why I write. I have no plans to ever make a living doing this; it's a hobby, and I'm happy with that. Maybe someday I'll be inspired to write some original fiction, and then maybe we'll see, but I'm content with the current situation for now. The other disadvantage that comes to mind is the necessary limitation of your audience to people familiar with the source material. Most of my friends will never read my fiction writing because it wouldn't mean anything to them. (And I'm totally cool with that, by the way. I know a few of you have made the attempt, and I appreciate the thought a great deal! But I understand that someone who has never played the games isn't going to get much out of my work.)

But fanfic has one clear advantage, for me anyway, and in the end that's why I write it: the world of Spira gave me a springboard from which to start writing again. For the last several years, whenever I thought about writing fiction, the thought of having to create characters and come up with things for them to do paralyzed me. I'd write a few paragraphs or a vignette and then stop, with no idea of where to take it. Spira and the characters that populate it gave me a springboard, a place to start. Now my creative muscles are being exercised in ways they haven't been used in years. And I think that has spilled over into the rest of my life in good ways. And I'm stretching them in the writing, too; I am creating characters and coming up with things for them to do -- original characters, worked into the fabric of the existing universe. So, that's why fanfic. On some level, I missed being a writer, and fanfiction showed me a way to get back there.

Now, why this particular source. I think that's the bit that T has a harder time understanding. He has played both games, and he in particular has a hard time understanding why I find Final Fantasy X-2 inspiring -- he found the story and the characters shallow, like they were just thrown together to rush the sequel out the door. But the more I consider it, the more I think that's actually the ideal situation for me. All I need from the game is an outline, a starting point. I actually like that, getting to flesh out the details, major ones in some cases, on my own. Really, though, the only answer is that I'm writing about this universe and these characters because they are the ones who happened to grab my imagination. I write these stories because they asked to be written. That may not make any sense to anyone who isn't themselves a writer, but it's the only way I really have to explain it.

So there it is. I don't need to justify it particularly, but I like to think through my reasons every so often anyway. If I'm going to devote so much time and effort to something, I ought to know why.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think that's actually the ideal situation

Yes, once again the mind reading. We remain in sync. That is exactly what it is. We are given these armatures upon which we can shape the figures we know in our minds. It is a time-saver and that little push off dead center which once given keeps us careening down the hill. I find equal pleasure in being canonical and playing AU; it is all part of the Great Game. We have found things the original designers never dreamed of and made them integral to the characters. Who would dare deny that is creativity?

LIke you, I have no wish now to publish. Too many trees are sacrificed to the vanity of poetasters and their fiction equivalents as it is. I have done the occasional backwoods vignette and shall continue to do other things as I am so moved. But for now, the permission to live in Spira when I wish is enough. And, again like you, readers are a glorious luxury not a need. The need is to write.

I am grateful to you for putting this down so accurately and eloquently. A toast to fanfic and all the pluses and minuses it entails. Hoch!

I shall drink to that.

...readers are a glorious luxury not a need.

That's true, but only up to a point. Would I keep writing if I knew that no one besides me would ever read a word of it? Probably, but I think it would be far less satisfying. Knowing that there are a handful of people actually paying attention to what I write and waiting to see what I come up with next is an inspiration of sorts. It's like that article I posted the other day said: the need to be read is real. Even if we hadn't started chatting about other things, I would be glad that we found one another for that reason alone. :)

I would be glad that we found one another for that reason alone. :)

You may be assured the feeling is mutual. We form a self-sustaining book club all by ourselves. LOL

Were I marooned on a deserted island or forced to live amongst those who did not share my language, I feel I would keep writing or drawing or painting. This is indicated to me by the times I have tried to live without 'making hats' and how wretched I was during those times. Creating is oxygen and not to be dispensed with for long.

In addition, you are completely right in commenting on the necessity from time to time of reassessing one's options. It helps me to keep clear those destinations toward which I am tending. I did just such an assessment only last week in a private post (because it included some 'spoilers'). This look around has become a regular part of my routine - a sort of intellectual high colonic. ;-)

If fan fiction makes you happy, I don't see the need to justify it since it harms nobody and satisfies you and some other folks. I think it makes sense that you write about a shallow story and characters so you can flesh them out. I know what you mean about feeling paralysed about creating characters from scratch. I'd have the same feeling every time I'd have to write a paper. I'd look at the blank piece of paper and think "How can I ever write anything that the professor will think is interesting?" That feeling of paralysis but wanting to be creative led me to MUSHing, which is rather similar to fan fiction in a lot of ways. MUSHing satisfied me for a long time, and I might have continued to write as a hobby for years if the gods had woven my life differently.

I started writing fiction when I realised I could draw from the themes and characters of my own life without actually writing about my own life. In talking to you about your own life, I know you have a lot of interesting stuff. I'm sure you're drawing on it already when you write your fan fiction. If you haven't already read it, I highly recommend Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott.

I'd bet I would have liked MUSHing if I'd discovered it at the right time of my life -- I always enjoyed pencil-and-dice RPGs and the combination of that with writing sounds like such fun. The collaborative piece I wrote was kind of like that, although on a much slower time scale.

I'm sure you're drawing on it already when you write your fan fiction

I'm sure I am, too. There's nothing specific I can point to, but I know that I must be. Probably without even realizing it, in some cases. I remember liking Anne Lamott's Salon.com columns but I haven' read Bird by Bird; I will have to look for it.

Have I told you how much I admire you for starting up your writing again and pursuing it professionally? It's scary enough to put up these little pieces of myself in this forum and in the fanfic archives. It takes a lot of courage to approach publishers in the way that you have; I don't know if I'd have the guts.

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