owlmoose | why we write

I write because I need to, because the stories are in my head, and I need to get them out. I write because it's an escape from the real world. I write because I haven't written fiction since I was a teenager, and it's been wonderful to have a creative hobby again. I write because I love doing it, love seeing my ideas become words on a page and then tweaking them until they convey exactly what I want them to.

But I have to admit it. I also write because I'm getting positive feedback on my efforts. "Fate" received an extremely gratifying review from a talented writer today, and I'm still on a high from it. It was the first thing I saw when I checked my email today -- what a way to begin a morning! I feel much as I did when I got my first review ever, for "Chasing My Past", from another author who had written a piece I admired (darkcyan? you still out there?), like maybe I have the hang of this writing thing after all.

I know that my stories are a little too long (80K words and maybe 2/3rds through on AGL, maybe), a little too dense, a little too literate for much of their potential audience. (It's the price I pay, I suppose, for writing in a fandom where many of the other authors are so much younger than I am. Not to put down anyone for youth; far from it -- some of the teens and young adults who write Final Fantasy fic are genuinely good writers, and others show promise for getting there with practice and discipline. I wish that I could have written some of the stories I see out there when I was 20. But I think being on the other side of 30 gives me a rather different perspective. It's interesting, and a bit of a challenge, being rather older than almost all the characters I write. Sometimes I have to remember to make them act like teenagers and twenty-somethings, albeit ones who grew up in much tougher circumstances than I did; I don't know that I always succeed.) So it's that much more satisfying when I receive appreciation for my work -- a thoughtful review, especially one that contains constructive criticism as well as accolades, an extended comment here. Maybe the opinions of strangers shouldn't matter so much to me, but the fact is that they do.

I need to get better about leaving reviews myself. I don't always feel like I have time, but if I have time to read, I have time to leave at least quick feedback.

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It is not unusual for those of us who write to find a decent review suddenly puts the wind at our backs. Yours did that for me. We all need to stop and realize the value of responding to the good things we turn up in the various places we both post and read. I never in my life wrote fiction until the first month of 2004 but I did loiter around FFN and read voraciously. I also critiqued fiercely - so much so that some persons told me later when they saw a review with my name in their in-box, they were inclined to panic. I am afraid I am not as forgiving of the young as are you. I am outraged by those who will not offer readers the common courtesy of editing and proof-reading their work before flinging it into the public's face. And I have no patience for the High School abominations and the MarySues which so often are the chosen genres of the immature. I take writing seriously and know it to be a proper challenge.

I just recently had an amusing encounter. One writer who I reviewed severely joined forces with a friend and they each left me a review so silly it was obvious they had not read the work in question but were attempting to hurt me as I had apparently injured one of them. I, naturally, ignored the effort since their grammar and spelling unmasked them as puling infants. This past week, I have received personal e-mails from each of them separately, apologizing for their bad manners and begging my pardon. I wrote them back, thanking them for their thoughts, pointing out the act of posting a story in any place was tacit acceptance of criticism and explaining the purpose of my original review. I have hope for this pair. Sometime in the interval between their rash action and their correct remorse, they began to grow up.

There are many reasons why any of us write. I do not think it matters so much why as how? If we give our best to our readers and do not dodge the less entertaining bits of our avocation, we have upheld our part of the bargain and may be proud. I know I would write even if I never got another review so encouraging as the one from you, but such unexpected treats surely act as carrots as I pull the wagon of words up the next hill.

It's true that I probably have slightly lesser standards for what makes decent fanfic than I do for other types of writing. (I do avoid the MarySue and High School fics like the plague -- boring, all the same, almost uniformly badly written, although there are a very, very few exceptions in the Sue genre; and works that have obviously not been edited or proofread will be quickly ignored as well. I put a lot of work into making my writing presentable, it doesn't seem too much to ask others to do the same.) But I do find that there are enough skilled writers out there, even among the young, that it's worth spending a little time sifting through the crap. Especially with the younger authors who seem to have real potential, I prefer to leave encouragement along with my constructive criticism. Of course, leaving real, useful feedback is a great deal more time and thought consuming than a simple "I liked this", so I don't do it as much as I would like.

I find the encounter you describe above really fascinating. Such unprompted apologies are very encouraging! Maybe there is hope for the world after all...

Even if I never got another review, I'm sure I would keep going. The idea of leaving AGL half-finished is intolerable, and I have other stories knocking on the back of my mind, asking to be set free. The work is indeed its own reward. But I do occasionally wonder whether I'm shouting into the wind, and receiving feedback, of any kind but especially the thoughtful sort, counters that feeling nicely.

why we write

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