Update

[owlmoose]

So, hello. It's been a long time. Years, really, since I've posted or participated in fandom or public online activity in any consistent fashion. I apologize for basically falling off the face of the earth, in terms of keeping up my online relationships and fannish connections. There are a lot of reasons for this, and I'll probably share some of them eventually, but for the moment, I'm here with news: I've been laid off from my federal contracting job of nearly 10 years.

My employer traditionally earns about 70% of its revenue from federal grants and contracts, and the single biggest client had been the Institute of Education Sciences, the branches of the Department of Education that's being dismantled the most quickly and thoroughly by the current administration. You've probably heard a lot about federal employees being fired and laid off, and it's a huge and terrible problem, but the effects on some parts of the private sector have been just as devastating -- I've heard reports that some peer organizations have laid off as much as two-thirds of their staff. So it was no surprise that layoffs were coming, but I was completely shocked to be caught in the first round. Some of my work was funded by ED, but not nearly all, and I was already working on filling the gaps. More significantly in my mind, I've been a key team member of a foundation-funded project that's prepping for its final year of data collection and writing the final report. But I guess that didn't matter, or the people making the decisions didn't realize. My employer said the decisions weren't based on seniority, performance, or whose projects had been cancelled, but "expected future business needs", so I don't expect to ever learn why I, specifically, was selected.

That said, I'm not upset with my employer. Certainly there were better ways they could have handled the communication and the decision, but there was no getting around a large layoff (about 20% of staff). Last I heard, they've lost 40% of their expected revenue to cancelled grants and contracts; the various lawsuits in progress may bring some of that back, but there's no way to know how much work or when. So my employer really had no choice. My big feelings -- anger, ire, hatred, rage -- are focused entirely on the new administration and its determination to destroy the apparatus of government and bring a halt to the apparatus of scientific research and evidence-based decision making. Because make no mistake -- that is the goal, and that will be the outcome, unless this rampage is stopped and reversed.

Anyway, I received notice two weeks ago; I'm on paid administrative leave through early May, and then will receive my accumulated vacation pay and (probably) somewhere between 1-2 months of severance. I am extremely fortunate that our financial situation is such that I don't need to find a new job right away (and it's a terrible time to look for work in my field anyway, with a situation this unstable), so I consider myself to be on an unplanned sabbatical. For now, my biggest task (besides resting and recharging) is figuring out how to spend my time in the short run. I find the structure of paid employment really helpful; without that, my days could evaporate into a haze of sitting around the house. Options that come to mind include travel (some of which is already tentatively planned, like BMC reunion and WorldCon), writing, reading (I've barely read any books the last few years), professional development, and activism. One complicating factor is that T is also not working (he got laid off in 2018 and ultimately decided to retire), so he's almost always around, and I have to factor him into my daily schedule in a way I haven't when I've been between jobs in the past.

Obviously I am very behind on my reading here, but one way I hope to structure my time is to get back into the habit of reading, commenting, and posting. In this time of chaos and uncertainty, one important thing we can do is build and maintain our connections, and coming back to my DW community is one way for me to start that process. So if you are also feeling lost or blindsided, or just want to chat, feel free to reach out. I will do my best to be here.