KJ

During the first few months I lived with T, he used to look at Nadia and say "There's a cat in my house!" Usually in a slightly awestruck tone of voice, as if he couldn't quite believe it to be true.

For the last week, he's been looking at me at random moments and saying "We're married!" with a very similar tone and the same expression on his face. It's very sweet.

Slouch.
Run.
Breathe deeply.
Sing.
Stretch.
Eat a large meal.
Sit in any way other than perfectly straight at the edge of a chair.
Stand up gracefully after sitting down.
Drive.
Suck in your stomach to walk through a tight crowd.
Hunch over a table to string beads.
Put on or take off shoes. Socks, ditto. Pants are possible but difficult.
Bend over to pick up or put down anything.
Sleep (just a guess, but I feel pretty certain of it).

(Can you tell I spent a couple of hours in my wedding corset yesterday afternoon?)

My friends rock.

Earlier this week, I got a phone call from SE, inviting me to tea with a few friends this afternoon. She didn't go into details as to the occasion, so I assumed it might be a pre-wedding celebration of some sort. Imagine my feelings, then, when I walk into TC's house to the shout of "surprise" from a much larger group than expect. Yes, a surprise wedding shower! Most unexpected was the presense of T, whom I thought I'd left safely at home just 45 minutes before. Naturally, he was in on the whole thing.

No one has ever thrown me a surprise party before, so the wool was pulled over my eyes quite sucessfully. I did once see an email from S with a suspicious subject line on T's computer, but nothing happened so I put it out of my mind. A few people commented on the moments when they almost blew it, but of course when you're not looking for clues it's really easy to miss them.

It was really a most excellent party, a co-ed shower with a Caribbean theme. The food was good, the games were fun, I got some great books and some useful cruise stuff, including a huge-ass towel, which is something I've needed for a long time. And it has a pretty flowers and a big pink flamingo on it, always a plus. But it's not about the stuff, of course. It's the obvious effort my friends put in to throwing me a party that really makes me happy. I've always known that I've been lucky in my group of friends; today just seals it.

This has been the summer of music. In the last two months, I've been to three concerts (and next weekend I suppose could make it four, but TMBG are playing a venue with no seats and I'm just too old to stand for four hours. Not even for John and John) -- the Indigo Girls, then BNL and Alanis, and now tonight the one and only "Weird Al" Yankovic!

A couple of days ago, E heard on the radio that Al was playing at Great America tonight, so he got a last-minute group together and we went. He took a group to go see His Weirdness a few years ago; I opted not to come along because I was a starving grad student with too much homework at the time, but my friends who went were so excited about it afterwards that I really regretted staying home. And I'm really glad I went this time! I've always heard that The Weird One puts on quite a spectacle, and I was not disappointed in this -- at least 12 costume changes (including the Michael Jackson "Fat" suit, which we children of the '80s will remember from the video), lots of fun video clips, fake interviews with Eminem and Celine Dion... The middle portion of the show was a selection of song clips from parodies, including "Eat It". I thought that was great -- he got a lot more songs in without making the show super long. I don't know if other artists could get away with that, but it's a great strategy for Weird Al. Then he ended the show with a Star Wars encore: "The Saga Begins" (the Episode One parody of "American Pie", which is easily my favorite Al tune) followed by "Yoda". The audience loved it, and it seemed that Al and his bandmates were all having a really great time.

The tickets included admission to the park, so I also got to hit some roller coasters, whee! There's a new coaster called Invertigo that was great. They've also added a few waterslides, also fun, although the park isn't really set up for people to change into and out of bathing suits yet.

Despite my great precautions with sunscreen and hats, I seem to have picked up a bit of a burn. I think today may be my last all-day outdoor adventure until the wedding -- I really don't want to chance getting a serious burn on my face, neck, or shoulders between now and then. Makeup can only cover so much.

I'm getting married in two months.

How did that happen? T and I got engaged in April 2003, and for various reasons (mostly because my brother already had his wedding date set for Halloween of that year) we decided to wait until fall of this year to get married. So we've had this super long engagement, which is good because it gave us plenty of time to plan but bad because tasks expand to fill available time. The whole time, the wedding has felt like something that's very far away. And now all of a sudden the deadline is real and there's all these things I still intend to do that I thought I had plenty of time for. Fortunately, T is the world's most organized project manager, so there aren't as many of those things as there could be.

The invitations went out this weekend. We had a dance lesson on Friday -- a friend of T's is a swing instructor and he offered to help us out. He didn't teach us anything fancy, just gave us advice on getting used to moving together. After much shopping, we found ties for T and the groomsmen that match the bridesmaids' outfits. We made our appointment to pick up a marriage liscence in a couple of weeks. (And we fit in a viewing of Spider-Man 2, which I enjoyed a lot and thought was a clear improvement over the first movie (although I saw the first on video, so maybe the comparison isn't fair). Doc Ock was a great villian: his arms were fully-realized characters themselves, and I really liked the actor who played him.)

For the last many months, I've really been wanting to get to the wedding soon, partly because I'm looking forward to both the wedding itself and being married to T, but mostly because I don't want to have to think about planning it anymore. But at this moment, I'm wishing I had a little more time.

On Wednesday, I went down to a well-reviewed lingerie shop in Palo Alto. They didn't have anything in my size, but the saleslady gave me a referral to another shop. So I call and make an appointment with this woman, aka The Bra Lady. After being measured, poked, prodded, felt up, and lectured on self-care, the proper fit of bras, and letting the Lord into your life by a 85-year old lady with boundless energy, I walked out with a long-line strapless bra and a shaper. It was definitely an experience, and it didn't cost much more than it would have to just buy then in a regular store. She really works the hard sell, though -- it was like being worked over by a used car salesman, except it's your evangelical Christan grandmother.

Anyway, I'm happy to have that done with so that I can go on to the dress fittings. Stay tuned for the next exciting wedding shopping chapter: "Shoe Adventure - The Saga Beings".

So I made my first attempt at finding an undergarment to wear under my wedding dress today. I've been dreading this a little bit because finding good strapless bras is so difficult for a woman of size. But I need to find something now, because I need to get to a seamstress for my alterations and I think I need to have the final underwear before I know for sure exactly how the dress will fit. Everyone I've talked to about this has suggested looking for a one-piece supportive garment, like a bodysuit, and I agree. So that's the plan.

First stop was Nordstrom for some of that famous customer service. I spent a good five minutes wandering around the deserted lingerie section, but my attempts to catch a salesperson's eye were in vain. I finally had to go over to the counter to ask for help. They don't carry bodysuits in my size, so she suggested that I start with a strapless bra, although she's not sure she has those as large as 42DD either. So we went over to the full-figure strapless section, where 42DD is about the smallest size they have. I grabbed a 44 just to have a larger size comparison. Then she lead me to a changing room and left me there, without even offering to help me get it on. So much for famous customer service. I don't have the bra-fastening gene, so I ended up having to put it on backwards and pull it around to the front. I do this with regular bras all the time, but it's a great deal more challenging with a waist-length strapless. Anyway, once I got it in place it fit fine, but it wasn't terribly supportive. I promised the salesdroid I'd keep it in mind for a possible two-piece solution, but my hopes are not high.

Next I tried an actual lingerie store in Crocker Galleria, but from the saleswoman's face when I walked in the door, I could pretty much tell that they wouldn't carry my size, and I was right. Finally, I tried out Macy's. I get regular clothes from there all the time, and have pretty good luck with them, but my past lingerie experiences have left a lot to be desired. But I figured it was worth a try. After trolling the racks and discovering that one manufacturer at least claims to make 42DD bodysuits, I once again had to ask for help in a practically empty store. This time the service was good, though, because the woman offered to go search the back for something in my size. She came up with one just a little too small, and we both thought it was worth a try. But it wasn't even close. If it had some sort of fastener in the back, it might have worked, but since it was literally one piece of fabric I couldn't even get it over my hips. The nice saleslady also suggests a two-piece solution. Outwardly I agree to think about it. Inwardly I sigh.

I think it's time to start searching the plus-size lingerie catalogs. I'd hoped to be able to try stuff on in a store first, but I'll just have to find a catalog with a good return policy instead.