KJ

I'm attending my first (and possibly last, depending on how things go) education research conference, AERA in Denver, CO. I was meant to present, and although we decided it would be weird for me to represent the project in an official way, my employer had already covered my membership, conference registration, and plane tickets, so I decided it was worth covering the hotel and food costs myself to go anyway. I'm now about halfway through (arrived Wednesday evening, leaving Sunday morning) and it's pretty good so far. Besides the session I was scheduled to attend, I've kept it pretty low key, watching mostly talks involving my soon-to-be-former coworkers and taking the opportunity to connect with them. There's also an informal happy hour scheduled for this afternoon, and I'm looking forward to that. I should be doing more networking with people I don't know, but anyone who's gone to a con with me knows that I'm not very good at instigating such connections myself -- I do way better if I'm introduced to someone, or have some other reason to strike up a conversation with them. I am at least posted up in the convention center rather than retreating to my room. I may not meet anyone this way either, but at least here there's some chance.

Since I'm picking sessions based on presenter, I've learned about a variety of topics: civic learning, AI in education research, federal funding for schools identified as needing extra support, college preparation and supports for students from diverse backgrounds. Of course, the current actions of the federal government hang like a cloud over every single one: so much of this work is or has been supported by the Department of Education, and the new rules and drastic changes are felt by everyone here, even though most of the attendees are still employed. The opening session on Wednesday evening was a discussion of the state of higher education, and it was equal parts stirring and sobering. All that said, I'm glad I'm here, even if I don't end up making any significant new connections. It's nice to see people, and to feel how happy they are to see me, and to feel like I can still be part of this world if that's what I decide I want.

So, hello. It's been a long time. Years, really, since I've posted or participated in fandom or public online activity in any consistent fashion. I apologize for basically falling off the face of the earth, in terms of keeping up my online relationships and fannish connections. There are a lot of reasons for this, and I'll probably share some of them eventually, but for the moment, I'm here with news: I've been laid off from my federal contracting job of nearly 10 years.

( Details behind the cut. )

Anyway, I received notice two weeks ago; I'm on paid administrative leave through early May, and then will receive my accumulated vacation pay and (probably) somewhere between 1-2 months of severance. I am extremely fortunate that our financial situation is such that I don't need to find a new job right away (and it's a terrible time to look for work in my field anyway, with a situation this unstable), so I consider myself to be on an unplanned sabbatical. For now, my biggest task (besides resting and recharging) is figuring out how to spend my time in the short run. I find the structure of paid employment really helpful; without that, my days could evaporate into a haze of sitting around the house. Options that come to mind include travel (some of which is already tentatively planned, like BMC reunion and WorldCon), writing, reading (I've barely read any books the last few years), professional development, and activism. One complicating factor is that T is also not working (he got laid off in 2018 and ultimately decided to retire), so he's almost always around, and I have to factor him into my daily schedule in a way I haven't when I've been between jobs in the past.

Obviously I am very behind on my reading here, but one way I hope to structure my time is to get back into the habit of reading, commenting, and posting. In this time of chaos and uncertainty, one important thing we can do is build and maintain our connections, and coming back to my DW community is one way for me to start that process. So if you are also feeling lost or blindsided, or just want to chat, feel free to reach out. I will do my best to be here.

Well, hello. There's no way I'm going to catch up on over six months of life in one DW post, so I'm not even going to try. But the highlights:

1. ( Work stuff )

2. 2022 was a bit of a year for me on the health front. ( Health and medical stuff. )

3. So yeah, I turned 50 in March. Time comes for us all. I didn't get my act together for as much of a celebration as I might have liked, but my friends R & S hosted a birthday brunch for me along with enf, whose birthday is the day after mine. Then T and I hopped up to Napa for the day where we had a fancy lunch and bought many tasty treats, and it was a gorgeous day, a welcome respite from the five million storms we had this winter (maybe you've heard about those; fortunately we live in a neighborhood that isn't at risk of floods or mudslides, but there were a lot of messes around us and I sure got tired of rain).

4. We continue to live in pandemic mode, even though much of the world has moved on. I do still wear a mask in most indoor settings and avoid indoor restaurant dining as much as possible (T won't do it at all). Maybe it's not necessary, but the fact is that, between cautious behavior and good fortune, I still haven't gotten COVID (as far as I know), and I would prefer to keep it that way. And it's not a big deal for me to wear a mask on transit, or in the grocery store, or at the theater, etc., even if most other people aren't. T's unwillingness to dine indoors, even in the worst weather, is starting to become a concern, but now that spring is upon us it will hopefully be less of an issue for awhile. The bigger deal is that I've finally coaxed him back onto an airplane, and we're going to take our first two real vacations since September 2019: Hawaii at the end of the month, and Maine for a friend's wedding in July. I am super excited for both of these trips and can't believe that Hawaii is only about two weeks away! Unfortunately, though, the trip conflicts with WisCon, so I won't be attending in person. It was a tough decision but ultimately it made the most sense for me. I do plan to attend at least some events virtually.

5. CW for pet loss and cancer. ( About Tori )

Welcome to November, the month where I have traditionally tried to write at least a little bit and/or post something every day. Since I haven't posted since mid-September, and have done very little other writing in the meantime, it seems ludicrous to think that I might write and/or post every day, but in the hopes of not quitting before I start, here I am, putting down some words, basically just a stream of consciousness on the screen.

Obviously, I haven't been writing. It's been hard to even summon the desire lately. I want to want to write. But the motivation is less than non-existent. So I'm not sure what will happen. But I do at least know that the way to inspire myself to write is to sit down and do it. If anything can help me reset, it's the tradition of writing in November. So I at least want to give it a try.

In the airport waiting for my flight home, which leaves in just over an hour. I spent yesterday and today working in the Chicago office, which is not that different from working in my regular office, but there are different people there, including some folks who I've been working with for years but never met in person. I had a meeting with one today, then lunch with several others, and it was very nice to see faces beyond the little windows on a Zoom/Teams screen (one person was way shorter than I expected, for example). Yesterday I also had a lovely dinner with lassarina by the river, where we had wine and burrata and chatted merrily about life and fandom, and it was very excellent to spend a little time with her. Overall I would say it's been a quite enjoyable trip, and now I'm ready to get home to T and cat and bed.

As for next Worldcon, I don't have plans to go to Chengdu -- too expensive and difficult to plan, and I don't really want my first trip to China to be without T. But I'll say there's a non-zero chance I get to Glasgow. I'm thinking about it, anyway. And then I think the only active bid for 2025 right now is Seattle, which I'd say is highly likely for me. Time will tell.

Another day at Chicon, another morning spent in the WSFS Business Meeting. I have accepted that I'm likely going to attend the BM every morning, and that's okay -- it's actually all been rather fascinating, although I'm going to hold any more detailed thoughts on the process and the events once it's all over.

After lunch with bookishdi and jaimewrites, I went to a panel on hopepunk -- good, although it suffered from being an all-white group -- took a bit of a break before an early dinner with justira, and then dropped by a panel on final girls with Meg Elison and Seanan McGuire, and although horror is not my usual genre, they were a great group with fun chemistry, and I enjoyed the conversation a lot.

It's a little early to be back in my room, but I slept really poorly last night and am not feeling super social. On the other hand, there's a DJ Scalzi dance party in half an hour, and those are legendary, so I might go check it out. We'll see if I end up crashing soon.

One day down! I took a leisurely approach to the morning -- sleeping in a bit, breakfast at Starbucks, hit registration around 11:30. I ran into bookish_di outside the elevator, and we decided to meet at my first panel for the day, "Ancient Cities and Futuristic Design". This was a great panel, a fairly broad discussion of the technologies and social forces that have shaped cities, from ancient history to today. Annalee Newitz was on the panel, and I will listen to anything they have to say about cities and urban planning, and it did not disappoint. Fran Wilde, with whom I am less familiar, was the moderator, and she did an excellent job.

After that, we did a swing through the dealers room, got lunch, attended a reading by Jo Walton, and then hit the art show. I didn't buy anything, but I'm definitely going back. After hanging out in the lobby for a bit -- where we were eventually joined by justira -- I spent a little time in my room, then went to a panel on cozy games that justira moderated. The big takeaway from that is that people find different things comforting and cozy for very different reasons, so if you want to recommend a game to someone as cozy, it's good to find out what that means to them first.

Now I'm back in my room again after dinner, ready to relax and watch Critical Role (not quite live, but closer than usual), and get ready for the business meeting tomorrow. It's finally time to vote on the Best Game Hugo proposal! If you're here and want to support the award, Ira has a Twitter thread with more details.

Only Murders in the Building, Season 2: Through most of the first season of this show, I had no idea how they were going to make a second season work, but the turn in the final episode set it up so well that I wasn't particularly worried. And they did, indeed, manage to capture the magic twice, with wonderful chemistry among the actors and a plot that kept me guessing until almost the very end. And we're getting a third season; once again, they presented a fantastic twist in the last episode, and I'm now officially willing to go wherever this show takes me.

She Hulk: Attorney at Law, Episodes 1-2: It's nice to get a pure comedy out of the MCU. Early Wandavision had some comedic aspects, as did Hawkeye, but the former showed its underlying darkness early on, and the latter was more of an action-comedy (like the Ant Man movies). Tatiana Maslany is clearly having a lot of fun in the role, and I'm excited to see where the story goes.

Lightyear: I didn't have many expectations for this, so I found it a fun watch. I do have questions, though, about positioning it as movie beloved by six-year-olds in 1995 that was designed to sell a ton of toys to children. The time travel aspects are a bit confusing, and I don't know how a young child would relate to the set-up, with the idea that the life of the world is passing by Buzz as he focuses on his mission, a clear metaphor for letting yourself become too consumed by your work. It's also interesting to reconsider the world-building of Toy Story's setting as a culture where a kids' movie can have a background same-sex relationship and an out lesbian character (when Alisha tells Buzz she's getting married, he asks "what's her name?" without missing a beat) and no one treats it as remarkable. (Note that, in our world, this wasn't even really possible in 2022, much less 1995, given that even a movie as mild as this got homophobic backlash).

Like many fannish folk of my approximate age, I've been waiting 30 years for this adaptation, with a mix of gleeful excitement and terror that Netflix would somehow mess it up. I am pleased to report that they did not, in my opinion, mess it up; certainly I have my quibbles with it, but in the main I enjoyed it a lot, had many moments of fangirl glee, and even really liked some of the changes.

Probably my most serious -- not complaint, really, but comment -- that's specific to the adaptation rather than being grounded in the original text (for an example of the latter, see the depiction of Despair) is the pacing. ( Spoilers for both comics and show. )

The casting was A++ throughout -- not a single person felt off to me, and most of them are brilliant. Much of the imagery was spot-on, with several shots that leapt directly from the page, and even when they made changes it always felt right, like they were evoking the right mood. And there were a number of more substantial changes I liked a lot: ( More spoilers )

( spoilers of course )

If you haven't read the comic and are thinking of watching the show, or have started watching it and are unsure about it, because the main character has such a flat affect and/or if you think he comes off as a bit of a dick -- you're not wrong. That's the character; that's who he is. Even in the comics, you weren't always supposed to sympathize with him, and I think that aspect comes through even more clearly here. (If Tom Sturridge were playing Dream as exuberant, emotive, kindly, or warm, he would be doing it wrong.) But he does grow and become a bit more likable, sometimes, and when he's not likable, that's the point. So I encourage you to give it a chance. And if you're a worried fan, like I was, I hope my thoughts here can help assuage your fears. I don't guarantee that you're going to like it -- maybe your tastes or your reasons for loving it are different than mine. But it's worth at least a try.

This is, of course, not everything I watched in July, but it is everything I wrote a little about and never got around to posting. Other media from July I could talk about, and possibly will later (especially if anyone is interested): Severance, Everything Everywhere All At Once, Better Call Saul S6.5, Stray, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Upload: I don't think I ever posted here about the first season of Upload, an Amazon Prime series about the digital afterlife, so even though I watched it over a year ago, the occasion of finishing Season 2 is a fine time to talk about the series as a whole. I feel like I haven't heard a lot of buzz in fandom circles about Upload, and it's a shame, because it's a solid sci-fi comedy drama with clever writing and excellent chemistry between the leads. The premise: it's the near future, and we've figured out how to upload full human consciousnesses to the cloud at the time of death. But because we live in a capitalist society, the digital divide carries over into the Great Beyond, with those who can afford it living in posh resorts, while lower-cost solutions feature bare-bones accommodations and strict data limits. Our two protagonists are Nora, who works as a sort of digital assistant in Lakeview, one of the higher end residences, and Nathan, a programmer who was working on a more egalitarian solution when he died unexpectedly in a car accident... or maybe it was murder. Lots of clever skewering of corporate greed, a charming romance, and excellent character interactions. Both the first and second seasons have ended on extreme cliffhangers, and I can't wait to see where it all goes.

Ms. Marvel: I wanted to post about this as we were watching it, and I kind of wish I had, because I probably would have been more enthusiastic. This is a show that started off amazingly strong, then devolved into Marvel's usual third act problem of raising the stakes too high and forcing a CGI-heavy mega-battle to round things off. That said, when it hit, it hit. Iman Vellani was born to play Kamala Khan -- most spot-on casting since Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark, and I am not exaggerating, and I loved everything about her interactions with family and friends (even parts of the CGI mega-battle). So excited to see how they work her into the movie universe.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: I mentioned earlier that I watched the first episode of this show; I enjoyed it, but it took a little motivation to continue. Upon reflection, I think my reluctance was caused by Star Trek saturation (watching two seasons of Discovery in a little over a week plus a season of Lower Decks and a few episodes of Picard S2), nothing to do with the show itself. So T and I decided to give up on Picard for now and watch this instead, and it was an excellent decision. While I generally prefer my TV serialized, it's nice to get a break from it, too, with a show that carries character development and motivation across episodes but also tells a self-contained story in each show. I could quibble with some of its decisions, but overall I thought it was great and look forward to the next season.